I had really great aspirations for the week after finals.
I was going to bake scones. I was going to catch up with some people. I was going to write.
Well. That didn’t really pan out too well.
To be fair, I ventured out for a bit on Monday to meet a friend. But Tuesday morning rolled around and I just could not.
I am not one to spend a day doing nothing. When people say that they want nothing more than to stay in their houses doing nothing besides maybe watching Netflix, I tend to roll my eyes. Even as much as I love reading and watching Netflix, I rarely spend an entire day doing just that.
But Tuesday that’s exactly what I did. I stayed at home, watched a lot of Last Man Standing, and ate an alarming amount of chocolate.
I know I don’t do well at resting. I say yes to things when I should stay at home and take care of myself. But as an extrovert, I find it so hard to say no, even when I want nothing more than to just stay at home and introvert.
So when a friend asked if I wanted to hang out on Tuesday, I almost said yes. But something prompted me to just be totally honest and say while I would very much like to see her, I hardly any energy to do anything. Thankfully she understood and told me to just veg out for the day.
I learned that being honest with myself and taking time to just rest is just as important as being honest with the people in my life.
At my core I am someone who lives to be there for others. I am an empathizer and problem solver. Nothing (except maybe writing) gives me a better sense of purpose than to listen to others’ problems and help them find solutions. Unfortunately this doesn’t work too well when I’m exhausted.
Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to say no. At camp it was well known that we had to be filled up in order to keep filling others up. If you don’t, you burn out. I didn’t do the first part well at camp and apparently I am still learning this lesson.
So I now face the part of taking this lesson and actively practicing it.
Saying no is okay. Taking time to rest is okay.
In order to continue to pour into others, I need to let myself rest and be filled up.